🎙️19. Leadership - The Art of Active Listening: Beyond Hearing

Unleash the Power of Connection: Mastering Active Listening in This Episode (#19) of Fearless Thinking!

Feeling unheard? Discover the transformative power of active listening and become a more impactful leader and entrepreneur.

Michael Devous equips you with the tools to:

• Go Beyond Hearing: Learn why true active listening involves undivided attention and understanding the speaker's emotions.
• Build Stronger Relationships: Active listening fosters trust, psychological safety, and a more inclusive work environment.
• Become a Better Leader: Sharpen your problem-solving skills and cultivate empathy by truly hearing your team members.

Action Steps to Become an Active Listener:

• Be Present: Put away distractions and make eye contact to show genuine interest in the speaker.
• Ask Clarifying Questions: Ensure understanding by repeating key points and seeking further clarification.
• Acknowledge and Validate: Let the speaker know you hear them by using phrases like "I understand" or "That sounds challenging."
• Seek Feedback: Encourage your team to practice active listening with each other to cultivate a culture of open communication.

Key Takeaways:

• Active listening is about connecting with others, not just hearing words.
• By fostering psychological safety, active listening empowers your team and leads to innovation.
• Leaders who practice active listening build trust, respect, and a more engaged work environment.

Inspiring Quotes:

• "Active listening is not just about hearing the words that people say, it's actually about connecting with others." - Michael Devous
• "People will notice when you're actively listening, people will take notice and feel better, because they feel like you're paying attention to them." - Michael Devous

Excellent Reference Material:

• Book: "Crucial Conversations" by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler (Learn how to navigate difficult conversations with active listening)
• Article: "The Power of Active Listening" by Harvard Business Review (Discover the benefits of active listening in the workplace)
• Website: "Center for Creative Leadership" (https://www.ccl.org/) (Explore resources for developing leadership skills, including active listening)

Transcript

1

00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:10,110

Hey there everybody. 

2

00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:14,280

And welcome to fearless thinking, a 

podcast designed to help you navigate 

3

00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:16,816

authentic leadership and the 

entrepreneurial journey. 

4

00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:18,284

I'm your host, Michael dove. 

5

00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:21,154

And these are my thoughts, lessons and 

insights from my entrepreneurial 

6

00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:25,458

journey into coaching workshops, 

motivational speaking, and of course, 

7

00:00:25,558 --> 00:00:28,995

what I picked up from interviews with 

inspiring leaders and entrepreneurs 

8

00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:30,730

along the way.

9

00:00:31,297 --> 00:00:36,102

My mission is to help people unlock 

their untapped potential by using fear 

10

00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:39,39

as a catalyst for powerful change and 

growth,

11

00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:43,209

so they can step into the greatest 

version of their most authentic selves.

12

00:00:44,411 --> 00:00:46,579

All right, let's get in to see fearless 

thinking.

13

00:01:04,30 --> 00:01:04,998

Hey, fearless thinkers. 

14

00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:08,268

Welcome back to fearless thinking 

episode nineteen. 

15

00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:09,703

I'm your host, Michael devout. 

16

00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:10,603

Um. 

17

00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:12,639

We're in week four,

18

00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,75

coming up on the end of this beautiful, 

lovely wonderful

19

00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:18,578

week of fearless thinking there's 

episode nineteen. 

20

00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:19,612

The art of active listening

21

00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,415

beyond hearing,

22

00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:24,651

active listening.

23

00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:26,419

Excuse me my gosh. 

24

00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:27,520

Active listening

25

00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:28,955

is

26

00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:32,25

this is something we learned. 

27

00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:33,860

I was an actor for many years. 

28

00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:34,427

A performer

29

00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:36,796

now was trained,

30

00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:42,969

both an improv and on stage, how to 

actively listen to other people, onstage

31

00:01:44,37 --> 00:01:47,807

so that you could give a better 

realistic and genuine performance. 

32

00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:51,878

The art of active listening isn't just 

the thing you do for font. 

33

00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,681

It actually benefits you in having 

better, more real and connected 

34

00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:58,585

conversations with the world and the 

people around you. 

35

00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:00,487

That makes you a better leader,

36

00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:02,188

by the way, and a better entrepreneur. 

37

00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:07,227

And today we're going to dive into 

active listening, which somewhat, it 

38

00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:09,295

sounds simple, because we all have ears.

39

00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:10,63

But

40

00:02:11,64 --> 00:02:14,834

you know, true active listening does 

take practice, and it can be a game 

41

00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,269

changer for your leadership style. 

42

00:02:16,903 --> 00:02:20,306

People will notice, by the way, when 

you're active listening, people will take

43

00:02:21,74 --> 00:02:25,612

notice and feel better, because they 

feel like you're paying attention to them.

44

00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,682

So shifting our perspective a little 

bit. 

45

00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:32,919

Active listening isn't just waiting for 

your turn to speak, where your brain is 

46

00:02:33,53 --> 00:02:35,555

shifted into the ear, thinking about 

other things while that other person's 

47

00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:36,823

talking, you're thinking about your 

response. 

48

00:02:37,57 --> 00:02:38,391

That's not active listening,

49

00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,561

you know, you're not mentally 

formulating a response while they're 

50

00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:41,728

talking. 

51

00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:44,497

It's actually about you giving your 

full attention to the individual and 

52

00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:48,268

creating a space, a safe space, by the 

way, for open communication,

53

00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:52,272

and truly understanding what the other 

person is saying. 

54

00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,473

Both verbally and nonverbally,

55

00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:56,476

listen and repeat.

56

00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:03,149

What I heard you say was, what I think 

I understood, you do say, was, if you 

57

00:03:03,616 --> 00:03:05,285

acknowledge and repeat,

58

00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:06,553

then

59

00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:08,154

that's the practice.

60

00:03:08,588 --> 00:03:09,556

I mean, let's be honest. 

61

00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:10,724

That is the practice.

62

00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:15,228

You acknowledge what they've said, you 

repeat it back to them, what you think 

63

00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:15,628

you heard. 

64

00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:18,398

You provide your understanding of it.

65

00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:19,32

You know,

66

00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:21,67

fear of judgment,

67

00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:23,370

or appearing incompetent,

68

00:03:25,71 --> 00:03:26,906

can actually hold us back from active 

listening. 

69

00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:31,378

And we might jump in with solutions 

before we fully actually understand the 

70

00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,947

problem that the ringing, the 

challenging that they're sharing, or to 

71

00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:36,182

zone out of a topic that feels 

unfamiliar.

72

00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:41,321

And you know, that happens if you're at 

so many meetings and so many things you 

73

00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:41,921

could get,

74

00:03:43,56 --> 00:03:44,424

you could not be actively listening. 

75

00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:47,160

And then you jump in and say something 

that's not appropriate. 

76

00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:51,631

But there are some tips that you can 

do, and some habits that you can use to 

77

00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:52,999

overcome these things. 

78

00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,401

And one is, be present.

79

00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:56,836

Check in with yourself when you're 

going to those meetings. 

80

00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:58,338

And someone's talking to

81

00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:02,776

your having to do active listening, put 

away your distractions,

82

00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:05,245

your phone, your laptop, your email 

notifications. 

83

00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:10,583

Make eye contact with them, and fully 

focus on that person who's sharing with 

84

00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:14,587

you who you're talking with, and ask 

clarifying questions, like I said, 

85

00:04:15,55 --> 00:04:17,791

repeat what they said and give your 

understanding of it. 

86

00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:21,227

Don't be afraid to ask those questions, 

you know, the shows, first of all, that 

87

00:04:21,227 --> 00:04:24,97

you're engaged, and helps you gain a 

deeper understanding of their 

88

00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:24,364

perspective. 

89

00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:29,69

Because by offering your clarifying 

questions, you're getting a little bit 

90

00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:32,105

further clarification on their side, 

you know, like you're asking them to 

91

00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,674

provide you, like, here's my 

understanding of what I think I heard 

92

00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:36,109

you say, and then say it. 

93

00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,377

And then they're like, oh, yes

94

00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:40,280

or, well, yes, that's close. 

95

00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:41,648

However, maybe I wasn't clear. 

96

00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:42,816

And then they'll give you that 

clarification. 

97

00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:45,719

And that helps you really understand 

where they're coming from. 

98

00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,987

And, like I said, acknowledge and 

validate,

99

00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:53,860

let the speaker know that you're 

hearing them, and use phrases like, I 

100

00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,362

understand what you're saying

101

00:04:55,862 --> 00:05:00,667

because, or, what I heard you say 

sounds like or, that seems challenging. 

102

00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:02,168

And here's what I think

103

00:05:03,536 --> 00:05:06,473

here's what I'm thinking, that you're 

saying to me.

104

00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:10,810

By acknowledging and validating what 

people say, you're allowing them to 

105

00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:14,280

have take up space with their feelings 

and their challenges without feeling 

106

00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:15,682

judged or

107

00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,18

about that, about sharing. 

108

00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:22,255

But you're also acknowledging that that 

exists you're role modeling for them. 

109

00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,624

So when it's time for you to share, 

that opportunity will be

110

00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:26,226

readily available.

111

00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,229

Aspiring entreneur aren't a lot of 

aspiring

112

00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,197

entrepreneurs

113

00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:36,269

who build teams that seek feedback, 

either that's from their potential 

114

00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,38

customers or clients. 

115

00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:41,474

That's the active listening that you 

teach them to do is crucial. 

116

00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:45,712

It shows respect and actually builds 

trust and allows them to gather 

117

00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:49,115

valuable insights that can actually 

inform your company's decisions.

118

00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:52,185

You know, in today's diverse 

workplaces, executives who

119

00:05:53,219 --> 00:05:54,354

use active listening,

120

00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:58,992

essentially, you have fostering a very 

inclusive environment that can navigate 

121

00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:00,527

complex situations. 

122

00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:04,431

This allows you to hear diverse 

perspectives and address conservative 

123

00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:05,932

concerns effectively

124

00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:10,704

and build a more engaged and productive 

team.

125

00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,908

No, one of the things that we can 

utilize this for,

126

00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:17,477

that active listening contributes

127

00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:19,479

to, is psychological

128

00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:20,847

safety. 

129

00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,582

You might have heard this term a lot. 

130

00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:23,683

Corporate world,

131

00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:26,86

when leaders actively listen,

132

00:06:26,419 --> 00:06:30,190

it creates a safe space for others, 

team members who share their ideas 

133

00:06:30,423 --> 00:06:31,157

without fear of judgment.

134

00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:35,795

This can foster what is considered to 

be psychological safety. 

135

00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,365

We have physical safety, we have 

emotional safety. 

136

00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:40,166

Now we have psychological safety.

137

00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:45,638

And this is a key ingredient for 

innovative teams and environments and 

138

00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:50,844

high performing teams, especially in 

diverse environments, so that they can 

139

00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:55,548

fully be present, aware and available 

to do the best work that you need them 

140

00:06:55,615 --> 00:06:56,16

to do. 

141

00:06:56,583 --> 00:07:00,520

And in leadership development, active 

listening is a skill anyone can learn, 

142

00:07:00,653 --> 00:07:01,855

and everyone should be using

143

00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:06,760

by encouraging team members to actually 

practive active listening with each 

144

00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:06,993

other. 

145

00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:10,663

You can cultivate leadership qualities 

like empathy, understanding and problem 

146

00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:12,165

solving, essential for all your leaders.

147

00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:15,535

You know, if you want to do, if you're 

on the east coast space or whatever.

148

00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:19,539

J Thompson, with hike the mountain, 

does some great leadership development 

149

00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:23,543

with active listening training that's 

powerful and really brilliant. 

150

00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,945

And then kat lakoki, on the west coast,

151

00:07:27,80 --> 00:07:31,785

she does some wonderful workshops to 

teach us how to step into ourselves and 

152

00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:34,821

learn how to do active listening with 

her workshops as well. 

153

00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:35,522

It's really cool.

154

00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,392

Or you could like, you know, take a 

workshop for me. 

155

00:07:40,26 --> 00:07:42,495

I'm happy to help you with active 

listening. 

156

00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,597

I think that would be cool. 

157

00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:46,99

I can do that for you for sure. 

158

00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:49,269

But actively it, active listening

159

00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:53,773

is not just about hearing the words 

that people say, it's actually about 

160

00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:54,708

connecting with others.

161

00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,911

When I was coaching the executive team

162

00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:04,651

in New York three weeks ago now, on 

their panel discussions and on their

163

00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,86

speeches

164

00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:08,655

during the panel discussion

165

00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,557

discussion Sessions,

166

00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:14,94

helping them learn how to do active 

listening

167

00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:18,732

was crucial and really fascinating, to 

getting them to a place where they had 

168

00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,667

a really impactful panel discussion. 

169

00:08:21,67 --> 00:08:23,470

I did the same thing for the leadership 

navigator event back march,

170

00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:28,8

which I worked with nine different 

panelists, and

171

00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:29,142

it was really fun. 

172

00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:32,679

I love helping people learn how to do 

active listening, but also engage in 

173

00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:36,649

what I consider to be impactful and an 

intriguing dialogue.

174

00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:42,822

Active listening it's not just, as they 

said, hearing the words, it's actually 

175

00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:43,990

connecting with other people.

176

00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:44,758

And

177

00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:46,359

that is impactful. 

178

00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:49,796

And others who are watching you do 

that, builds trust and fosters 

179

00:08:50,96 --> 00:08:54,601

inclusion, which actually empowers 

everyone to feel valued and feel heard. 

180

00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,470

Did you hear me feel valued and feel 

heard? 

181

00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:58,705

They feel

182

00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:00,507

that that's happening.

183

00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:06,546

So, silence your distractions, put your 

phone down and put that away and truly start

184

00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:07,947

to actively listen. 

185

00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:08,915

You might be surprised. 

186

00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:12,752

What you find out might be surprised, 

the impact that that has on your 

187

00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:15,555

leadership journey and the success for 

your organization. 

188

00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:19,225

So thanks for joining us on this 

episode of active listening with 

189

00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:19,859

fearless thinking. 

190

00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:20,427

I'm your host. 

191

00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:23,630

Michael devout, team building is a 

powerful thing, and active listening 

192

00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:28,568

can really help you do that, exploring 

how to collaborate together in an 

193

00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,403

inclusive environment where everyone

194

00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:31,4

thrives. 

195

00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:35,208

So until then, you know, keep learning, 

keep leading people

196

00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:36,509

listening actively. 

197

00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,679

And of course, like I always say, keep

198

00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:40,814

fearless thinking,

199

00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:43,850

and then i'll see you on the other side

200

00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,86

by everybody.