🎙️42. The Hard Things Are the Good Things: Building Resilience & Integrity Through Adversity

Episode Description:

In this episode, host Michael Devous dives deep into the idea that adversity can be a catalyst for growth. Drawing from his personal experience facing recent wildfires, Michael explores how challenges, both big and small, shape our resilience and integrity. He shares practical strategies for embracing challenges, leaning on community, reframing perspectives, anchoring in values, and seeking purpose in the struggle. Tune in to learn how to turn adversity into fuel for growth and emerge from trials stronger and more authentic.

Key Highlights:

• Personal Reflection on Wildfires: Michael shares his experience with evacuating due to wildfires and the emotional impact it had on him.
• The Difference Between Fear and Anxiety: He delves into the distinction between fear as a chemical response and anxiety as a prolonged state of fear.
• Life's Inevitable Challenges: Michael discusses how challenges are an inherent part of life and growth, especially for entrepreneurs.
• Strategies for Building Resilience: He offers five practical steps for cultivating resilience and maintaining integrity in the face of adversity.
• The Importance of Community: Michael emphasizes the role of community support in navigating difficult times and promoting growth.
• The Ascend Hub: He introduces The Ascend Hub as a platform designed to foster resilience and community for entrepreneurs.

Impactful Quotes:

• "I don't believe that life exists without hard things."
• "We are built to push back. We are built to flex our muscles. We are built to learn."
• "Resilience isn't about avoiding difficulties, it's about facing those adversities head-on with a mindset of learning from them and coming out the other side stronger."
• "Your values can be that compass... that can keep you focused on where you're headed and why you're headed there."
• "The hard things in life are not the end of our road... they're just the beginning of a new chapter."

Key Takeaways:

• Challenges are inevitable and can be opportunities for growth.
• Resilience is a skill that can be developed and strengthened.
• Community support is crucial during difficult times.
• Reframing our perspective on challenges can help us overcome them.
• Our values and purpose can guide us through adversity.

Sheree Cain-Jones - https://www.linkedin.com/in/sheree-cain-jones-652252a2/
The Ascedn Hub Site: https://theascendhub.com/
Ascend Hub Summer Promotion: https://r1.theascendhub.com/

Transcript

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Hey there everybody. 

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And welcome to Fearless Thinking, a 

podcast designed to help you navigate

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authentic leadership and the 

entrepreneurial journey. 

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I'm your host, Michael Devous, and these 

are my thoughts, lessons and insights

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from my entrepreneurial journey into 

coaching workshops, motivational 

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speaking. 

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And of course, what I picked up from 

interviews with inspiring leaders and

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entrepreneurs along the way.

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My mission is to help people unlock 

their untapped potential by using fear 

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as a catalyst for powerful change

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and growth,

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so they can step into the greatest 

version of their most authentic selves.

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All right, let's get into some fearless 

thinking.

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Hey, fearless thinkers. 

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Welcome back to the Fearless

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Thinking.

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I'm your host,

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Michael Devous

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Last video, you saw me, the episode

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41, as I'm coming. 

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I'm getting back on track

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this week.

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Ah, this has been, you know, we got 

evacuated due to fires. 

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I'm trying to get back into the swing 

of things, getting my studio and

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everything back and order up here, and

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I'll record it.

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I recorded the videos for this week

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and then discovered that

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all of them, except one, had no audio,

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which makes it really hard for podcasts

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for you guys to listen.

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So I'm now I'm rerecording,

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I would hope that this would be just as 

genuine as the first time I recorded 

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it, but, you know, that's really tough 

to pull off.

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So, bear with me

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 as we record 42,43,44

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and 45

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frustrating.

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Anyway.

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All right, episode 42 this week we're 

talking about, well, what I did was, I 

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took all the episodes

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that I had prepared, rewrote

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them to incorporate

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feelings and thoughts about the fire 

and being evacuated,

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and how that correlates to resiliency 

and

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integrity.

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And there's a couple of reasons for 

this, which I'll get into, of course,

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today. 

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Because this, today is the

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today's episode. 

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Is, the hard things are the good things.

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Building resilience through

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building resilience and integrity 

through adversity.

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There was a post

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on LinkedIn by shire, king jones,

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about doing hard things,

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and about based about a life without 

hard things, you know, and what that 

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would look like.

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And I had commented on her post

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that I

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don't think that it's possible.

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I've met a very, very few people,

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who've had a life

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that didn't include

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what I would consider to be hard things.

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Now mind you, everything

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is subjective.

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And

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in its own perspective.

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So if you grew up in a life that was 

fairly simple and easy and not 

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combative and not chaotic,

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when a small moment of obstacles come 

along.

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When a moment of obstacles comes into 

your path,

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that could feel very overwhelming to 

somebody who isn't built for

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chaos, who isn't built for and prepared 

for

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and hasn't built up their resiliency

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to face

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challenges.

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Whereas those of us who've had many of 

them

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from day one,

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you kind of build up your resiliency 

skill set and your thick skin. 

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And so when you face them, you think of 

life in terms of how much I've faced 

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and how much

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was easy.

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It's very challenging to compare it to 

anybody else's experience, because

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every one of them's going to have 

something a little bit different than

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you do.

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And

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I personally do not believe that life 

exists without hard things. 

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It begins from the moment you start 

crawling.

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You

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have to

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actually wrote a

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journal entry, kind of a poem or

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speech about persistence. 

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Why do we persist?

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Why do we resist?

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We're built

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to push

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back. 

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We're built to flax our muscles. 

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We're built to learn. 

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As human beings on this planet. 

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The minute you start crawling, you are 

pushing against

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gravity to get off that ground.

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You are pushing against gravity to stand

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up right and learn to walk.

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And then from there on forward, every 

single thing you do, climbing, 

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crawling, jumping, leaping,

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bicycling, you name it, is a challenge. 

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You must learn to overcome the 

discrepancy between your skill set and 

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the challenge you want to take on.

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You start doing this as a baby, and you 

do it thousands and thousands of times over.

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So by the time you're an adult,

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this is part of your system.

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This is part of how you wake up every 

day. 

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This is part of what we do. 

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So why

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do we avoid

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certain challenges? 

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And then, as entrepreneurs, why do we 

bring on new ones? 

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Why are we so obsessed with

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challenging ourselves and raising that 

bar every single month, every single 

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week, every single year,

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to bring our ideas and our passions and 

our dreams into the world? 

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And I believe it's because we've found 

some kind of joy, some kind of reward 

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mechanism, some kind of response

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when we push ourselves and our limits 

towards

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those challenges.

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So

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that's a large opener,

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too, for this week, for episode 42, um 

we are exploring the undeniable truth 

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that life is full of challenges.

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However, if we shift our perspective to 

see that these hard things are actually 

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opportunities for our own personal and 

professional growth, resiliency and

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creating deeper integrity,

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diving into these personal experiences 

of adversity,

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especially new ones that I just 

experience, my family, just 

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experienced, to discuss

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strategies for

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us to stay true to our values while 

under pressure, and discover

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how to emerge

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through these trials on the outside of 

these trials, stronger and more authentic.

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So

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tackling this topic,

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which is

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how to take on hard things that life 

throws our way.

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Well, first of all, I talk about making 

fear. 

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Your friend,

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fear is an aspect and a response, 

mechanism that we have based on

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challenges that are put in front of us 

and the way that our brain interprets 

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its challenges, determining whether or 

not we are valuable enough or worthy 

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enough to take on that challenge. 

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And then it inserts those doubts and 

inserts those fears and inserts those 

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ideas and those thoughts about whether 

or not we can do have, or become that 

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next best version of our most authentic 

selves. 

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Because we just told the universe

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we want to do that. 

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We want to have that. 

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We want to be that. 

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We want to bring that dream to life. 

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We want to build that business.

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We want to change careers, build a 

family, go back to school, whatever it

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is. 

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So these are the hard things.

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Remember, we invite them.

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I mean, other than this forest fire, 

which I don't think I invited

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certainly. 

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I hope I don't have the ability of our

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to do that.

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Um.

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But

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all others,

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almost ninety per cent of all the 

others, especially after you've gotten 

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out of college and you've beat, you're 

beyond the blaming everybody else game.

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You're beyond the:

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It's my parents fault. It's the way I 

was raised.

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It's the TV. It's my boss, it's my 

friends it's my girlfriend, it's my boy

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friend.

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All the excuses you can come up with to 

blame everybody else for how you got to

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where you are and who you are to day 

chuck. 

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It doesn't matter. 

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Makes no difference. 

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It has no value, unless, unless you 

decide that it does. 

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I mean, if that's what you want, you 

want that to be your philosophy. 

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That you can't do something because 

somebody else said did, or whatever. 

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If that's the rule you want to live by. 

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That's the tether you want a tie

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around your neck of success.

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Stay there. 

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Then if that works for you, however, 

for those of us on the entrepreneurial 

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journey, that's not going to work. 

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And we know that we know those things 

that built us, those things that shaped 

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us, those things that created us, do 

not define us.

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And therefore we step out into the 

world asking for more

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from the world in order to help redefine

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Right

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from our own challenges, our own 

decisions and our own choices.

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That's the resiliency, that's the hard 

things. 

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Those are the stumbling blocks and 

stepping Stones and obstacles that are 

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coming along our

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fearless road

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that

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we seek out to help us grow.

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And so recently,

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when I faced a very hard thing first 

hand, while the wildfires were raging 

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on behind the hill here

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near our family home, we had to 

evacuate. 

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And this was a very terrifying 

experience

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for both, for all of us,

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filled with uncertainty and fear, but 

mostly anxiety. 

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Like, let me talk a little bit about

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the difference between fear and anxiety.

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I didn't look this up, by the way, but 

I'm just going to run it right off of 

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my head, fear is an. 

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I don't believe that fear is a feeling,

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like love is an emotion.

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Joy is an emotion anger's, and emotion 

fear is not. 

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To me. 

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I don't believe that beer is an 

emotion. 

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I believe fear is a chemical response.

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Just something that's happening, and 

your brain is assigning a value

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to it.

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Ok?

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So what I mean by that is your

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mind perceives an obstacle or a 

challenge, coming

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in front of you

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for something that you've decided to 

take on.

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Your brain interprets the challenge in 

front of you with regards to success 

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and failures, and begins to

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insert doubt.

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We may not be able to do that. 

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You might not be prepared to do that. 

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You might not be worthy of taking that 

on. 

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You might not know enough. 

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00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:24,991

You might not have enough. 

237

00:10:25,58 --> 00:10:25,959

You might not have learned enough.

238

00:10:26,26 --> 00:10:27,527

You might know enough people. Right?

239

00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:31,865

enough, enough, enough, worthy, worthy, 

worthy. It's all about this

240

00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:34,901

worthiness of getting the thing that 

you want to have in front of you.

241

00:10:35,68 --> 00:10:39,639

And your brain interprets your ability, 

your past of what you've done, your

242

00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,575

skill sets, your commitment, your 

integrity, your trustworthiness

243

00:10:43,76 --> 00:10:44,811

as to whether or not it's worth

244

00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,446

taking on this challenge. 

245

00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:47,681

And it will insert

246

00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:51,51

doubt into that parable, into that

247

00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:54,688

paradox, into that equation, or 

whatever you want to call it. 

248

00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:56,322

Because if there's an unknown

249

00:10:57,290 --> 00:11:00,360

meaning, if there's not a beginning 

middle and end of that story that your 

250

00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,495

brain can't see, it's going to fill it 

with those doubts.

251

00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:04,798

So

252

00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:07,534

that very idea

253

00:11:08,1 --> 00:11:08,468

about

254

00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,907

fear, not being an emotion, but being a 

mental

255

00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:15,842

and chemical response.

256

00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:17,110

Of course,

257

00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:23,149

real, not real fear, but fear of the 

amygdala, sort, meaning I'm running for 

258

00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,651

my life and I'm scared from something,

259

00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:26,886

is not an emotion.

260

00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:31,291

The anxiety you feel after that could 

be an emotion, sadness, depression,

261

00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:36,429

anger, frustration, all of those things 

or emotions you can feel as a result of 

262

00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,64

the chemical response of your body

263

00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,967

putting you in a state of fight or 

flight.

264

00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:41,935

Now,

265

00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:44,170

anxiety,

266

00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:46,272

to me, which is,

267

00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:50,744

can be fear based, of course, can have 

an aspect of fear that could be 

268

00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:52,178

something that comes out of fear.

269

00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,215

And I feel like anxiety is a long

270

00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:56,483

term,

271

00:11:58,918 --> 00:11:59,986

constant state

272

00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,454

of

273

00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:03,623

that of that fear stasis. 

274

00:12:04,90 --> 00:12:08,628

So the fear begins with an action or 

step, or a thing that took place.

275

00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,464

That's the first thing it's non 

continuous. 

276

00:12:12,32 --> 00:12:13,299

It doesn't exist the whole time. 

277

00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,567

But in your mind

278

00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:19,839

the unknown outcome is what creates 

that anxiety

279

00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,877

that then stretches out over time, 

until an answer can be had, until you 

280

00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:24,978

can fill in that blank at the end

281

00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:26,279

and answer that

282

00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,82

open ended question, what's going to 

happen. 

283

00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:34,20

And I was feeling so much anxiety over 

this situation, because there were so 

284

00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,989

many unknown variables

285

00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:38,425

with the fire. 

286

00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:39,726

Had I prepared enough? 

287

00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:40,593

Did I have the right insurance? 

288

00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,729

Oh my god, my stuff is going to burn 

down.

289

00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:45,965

You know, how do I rebuild it? 

290

00:12:46,99 --> 00:12:47,133

What if I can't rebuild it? 

291

00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:47,701

What should I do? 

292

00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:50,503

I'm in the middle of launching a new 

business, and I've got clients, and 

293

00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:51,304

I've got my podcast. 

294

00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,540

How do I make sure I have the right 

equipment? 

295

00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:54,607

And can I keep recording? 

296

00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:58,178

If I do keep recording, in the middle 

of this, am I exploiting the very 

297

00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:00,113

nature of this experience for my own 

benefit? 

298

00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:03,717

There were so many things I was 

carrying in my head. 

299

00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,318

It filled me with anxiety.

300

00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:07,987

I didn't fear for my life

301

00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:12,325

per Se, because I knew we were prepared 

well in advance to leave

302

00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:15,528

early enough to avoid any of that 

particular

303

00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:16,329

type of risk.

304

00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:21,267

But the anxiety around my parents

305

00:13:22,736 --> 00:13:24,170

making sure they were ok,

306

00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:25,138

the property,

307

00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,808

all the other families and the people 

in the neighborhoods around here,

308

00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:36,16

and just that my home would be gone, 

you know, that a piece of us could 

309

00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:36,950

potentially be

310

00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:38,118

gone. 

311

00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,153

Was, I carried a lot of that anxiety

312

00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,889

with me, which interfered with

313

00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:44,157

my

314

00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:50,196

ability to concentrate and do the 

things that I needed to do to keep 

315

00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,831

moving forward right with the business.

316

00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:53,266

So

317

00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,438

when I referenced Sheree Kane-Jones's 

post,

318

00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:00,306

"We Can Do Hard Things"

319

00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:05,78

She writes this beautiful post about 

what it's like to face hard things in

320

00:14:05,78 --> 00:14:05,245

life. 

321

00:14:05,311 --> 00:14:05,912

And while life

322

00:14:06,12 --> 00:14:07,514

is more valuable

323

00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:08,815

because

324

00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:13,620

we can face these hard things, and 

she's 100 percent right, I believe 

325

00:14:14,20 --> 00:14:15,689

there isn't a life out there

326

00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,224

where we don't face challenges

327

00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:21,961

big or small, like I said from the 

beginning, if the moment you start 

328

00:14:22,28 --> 00:14:24,998

crawling and trying to stand up, we 

were built for this.

329

00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:29,2

So is it any wonder that life will 

throw them our way? 

330

00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:30,70

First of all,

331

00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:31,938

out of just general circumstances. 

332

00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:35,208

Second of all, if you're like me, and 

you're an entrepreneur, and you're 

333

00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,11

trying to build your life and your 

dream of whatever, an executive, a 

334

00:14:38,11 --> 00:14:38,878

leader, whatever, you're

335

00:14:39,45 --> 00:14:39,312

asking

336

00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:40,580

the universe

337

00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:45,618

to put those challenges in front of you 

because you want to grow, because you 

338

00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:46,419

want to grow change. 

339

00:14:46,820 --> 00:14:50,256

You want to become and have and do and 

be the next greatest version of 

340

00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:50,423

yourself. 

341

00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:54,194

You've announced it to the world, to 

the universe, to god, whatever. 

342

00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:55,829

If you want to do this,

343

00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,964

you want to be this next thing. 

344

00:14:58,98 --> 00:15:03,303

And in order for you to grow into that 

bigger version of yourself, you got out 

345

00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:05,271

work the muscles, you've got a stretch,

346

00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:08,475

you got a grow, you got a push against 

resistance,

347

00:15:09,75 --> 00:15:09,776

and overcome

348

00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:14,714

certain obstacles and challenges, which 

is what makes life, you know, worth it, right?

349

00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:19,219

So now the question becomes, how do we 

prepare for the hard things? 

350

00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:20,153

Now, I talked about

351

00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:21,721

this fire. 

352

00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,491

I hadn't prepared really for this.

353

00:15:25,58 --> 00:15:25,759

For this fire,

354

00:15:27,60 --> 00:15:29,129

my parents had, they had their go-bags,

355

00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,766

because they'd been through this 

before, and I had not. 

356

00:15:32,999 --> 00:15:36,903

And I, quite honestly, this was sort of 

like befuddled, a little bit confused, 

357

00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:40,840

because my concentration was really on 

the property at that moment when we got 

358

00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:40,907

the notification

359

00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:42,909

that we should get prepared. 

360

00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:47,213

And it was about getting the sprinkler 

lines out, and as many hoses as we 

361

00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:49,949

could in as many sprinkler heads as we 

could, and everything else, and making 

362

00:15:50,16 --> 00:15:52,919

sure they were hooked up and that they 

were running and creating a line a 

363

00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:53,286

water line

364

00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,689

between us and the fire,

365

00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:58,591

just in case it got this close. 

366

00:15:59,59 --> 00:16:01,594

Maybe we could defend the house in the 

property.

367

00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:03,530

How do we navigate

368

00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,765

these hard things

369

00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:10,70

with integrity and resilience and then 

used them as a fuel for growth?

370

00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,472

This experience has taught me that 

resilience,

371

00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:13,907

while you know

372

00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,643

it isn't about avoiding difficulties,

373

00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,379

I don't know anybody who thinks 

resiliency is about wedding 

374

00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:21,114

difficulties you can't avoid.

375

00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:23,216

Well, suppose you could avoid 

difficulties. 

376

00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,719

If you're avoiding difficulties, you're 

not growing. 

377

00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:27,354

In fact, you're growing in a very 

different

378

00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:28,788

direction,

379

00:16:30,23 --> 00:16:30,724

if that's possible

380

00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:31,825

to make that statement,

381

00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:34,361

you're shrinking. 

382

00:16:35,61 --> 00:16:38,98

If you're not facing the challenges 

that's coming in front of you, you're 

383

00:16:38,98 --> 00:16:40,500

avoiding life, and you're avoiding 

change, and you're avoiding growth. 

384

00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,35

And if you're avoiding growth, you're 

stagnating,

385

00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:43,770

or you're reversing,

386

00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:47,774

and that's not healthy and it's not 

productive and it's not us, this is not 

387

00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:48,475

what entrepreneurs

388

00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:48,742

do. 

389

00:16:49,75 --> 00:16:49,109

So

390

00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,112

facing

391

00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:53,613

these

392

00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,149

adversities, these difficulties, these 

challenges,

393

00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:56,950

head on

394

00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:01,454

with a mindset of learning from them 

and then coming out the other side stronger

395

00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,157

is a practice and a skill.

396

00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:08,128

It is something I am very determined to 

do every time something comes up, 

397

00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:11,531

looking at it, recognizing it as a 

challenge, and saying to myself, oh my gosh,

398

00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:12,499

ah. 

399

00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,601

I called this forth from the universe. 

400

00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,836

I guess I'd better face this and take 

it on.

401

00:17:19,773 --> 00:17:20,807

If you can build your

402

00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,577

lift kit, your suspension system,

403

00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,881

your safety net for your soul, if you 

will,

404

00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,517

help you be ready to take on whatever

405

00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,553

life's path and road throws your way. 

406

00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:34,888

There are a few

407

00:17:35,689 --> 00:17:36,489

tools

408

00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:40,593

you can use that I think are helpful in 

terms of building resilience and 

409

00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:43,997

maintaining a sense of integrity in the 

face of adversity.

410

00:17:45,699 --> 00:17:47,233

One  is: Embracing The 

Challenge.

411

00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:48,168

Now I'll

412

00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:52,339

say, seven times out of ten,

413

00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:56,42

whenever a challenge happens, something 

big that comes down my road, something 

414

00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:56,943

unexpected, especially,

415

00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,647

I take a moment and I go, you need to 

identify this

416

00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:02,349

as a challenge in a roadblock. 

417

00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:05,919

You need to identify this as something 

that's standing in our way.

418

00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:09,589

And you've invited it from the universe 

to grow.

419

00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:11,458

What is it? 

420

00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:12,992

How is it affecting you? 

421

00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:14,761

What do you want to do about it? 

422

00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:15,862

And how do we want to move forward? 

423

00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:20,500

Instead of fearing this challenge, this 

hard thing, we have to see. 

424

00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:24,4

We can we can invite ourselves to see 

them as an opportunity for growth and transformation.

425

00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:26,873

You can make a statement, which is,

426

00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:31,378

I see this obstacle in front of me, I 

recognize you as an opportunity for 

427

00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:32,45

growth and transformation. 

428

00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:34,881

I'm going to keep an open mind, and I'm 

an asking, universe

429

00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:38,518

for other perspectives and ways to 

solution myself through this.

430

00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:40,587

Thank you, universe, for the 

opportunity to grow. 

431

00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:42,255

I welcome this challenge.

432

00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:43,390

Now let's go.

433

00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,359

Next is number 2: Lean On Your 

Community.

434

00:18:47,60 --> 00:18:47,360

So

435

00:18:49,62 --> 00:18:53,66

community is a valuable and important 

aspect of making sure that you are well

436

00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:56,836

supported, especially at times when 

life grows some real hard stuff. 

437

00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:59,839

Your way surrounding yourself with 

people

438

00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:04,511

who can support you and lift you up and 

offer guidance during these times it's 

439

00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:04,678

crucial. 

440

00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:08,682

I have a very core group of individuals 

around me that I'm almost always 

441

00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,750

reaching out to for support and spread 

help. 

442

00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,86

Now they'll always tell you I don't 

reach out or not. 

443

00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:16,89

They'll always say that I need to do 

more, that I should be reaching out 

444

00:19:16,89 --> 00:19:16,256

more. 

445

00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:20,160

I'm a super independent individual who 

doesn't like to lean on people too much.

446

00:19:22,95 --> 00:19:22,896

So

447

00:19:23,797 --> 00:19:27,233

until I've reached my breaking point, 

or a point where I really feel like I

448

00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:27,634

need to. 

449

00:19:27,801 --> 00:19:28,468

I feel like

450

00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:30,103

I should be protecting

451

00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:30,870

them

452

00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:31,705

from my crap

453

00:19:34,40 --> 00:19:35,542

and not dumping it on their laps.

454

00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:36,309

So

455

00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:37,477

that

456

00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:43,83

comes with its own inducing problems, 

obviously, but when it comes to things

457

00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:45,585

like a big challenge, like a fire being 

evacuated,

458

00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,223

it's important to be able to have that 

community to lean on.

459

00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:54,194

That's one of the reasons why I'm 

building the ascend hub, your online 

460

00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:55,995

membership community for entrepreneurs,

461

00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:59,666

leaders and mentors who are seeking 

resources, support guidance

462

00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:01,768

on their road to success.

463

00:20:02,836 --> 00:20:04,971

That is part of what I'm building 

inside there.

464

00:20:06,39 --> 00:20:10,343

I want a community of individuals like 

minded and like valued individuals, to 

465

00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:12,479

support each other and collaborate 

together

466

00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:15,682

on our dreams, our passions and our 

journeys as entrepreneurs,

467

00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:19,953

so that we can be better together, so 

we can succeed faster. 

468

00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:20,420

Farther. 

469

00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:20,987

Further. 

470

00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:21,755

Greater.

471

00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,58

3. is Reframing Our Perspective.

472

00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:27,193

Now, you know, if you've listened to 

this show,

473

00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:29,129

I'll talk about perspective a lot.

474

00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:31,531

Perspectives are like

475

00:20:32,165 --> 00:20:33,433

lenses,

476

00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:35,702

fine tuned lenses

477

00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,71

to see solutions

478

00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,6

in molts from multiple angles.

479

00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:42,876

You can't have enough

480

00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:44,144

perspectives.

481

00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:48,748

You need more experiences, more people 

around you with, but with diverse 

482

00:20:49,149 --> 00:20:51,351

experiences and diverse lives, lives,

483

00:20:51,785 --> 00:20:55,221

so that they can share with you their 

perspective, so that you can begin to 

484

00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:59,59

see every problem, every situation, 

every obstacle, every opportunity of a 

485

00:20:59,59 --> 00:20:59,826

very different set

486

00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,395

of perspectives and angles.

487

00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:06,866

Solutions can come in many different 

forms, in many different ways.

488

00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:12,38

The variables that come along with life 

in general, and all of the problems 

489

00:21:12,172 --> 00:21:13,940

that's going to throw at you are so vast

490

00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:20,447

that if you only have one perspective, 

only one way of viewing things, and 

491

00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:20,814

you're lost,

492

00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:22,82

you're not going to make

493

00:21:22,182 --> 00:21:22,349

it. 

494

00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:22,916

It's not going to work.

495

00:21:23,216 --> 00:21:24,784

You're going to have a super 

frustrating life

496

00:21:25,552 --> 00:21:26,86

all the way around.

497

00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:29,456

The more perspectives you have, the 

more tools you have in your toolbox,

498

00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:33,960

the better capable you are of assessing 

the situation and coming up with the 

499

00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,830

best possible solution for you and 

everyone around you. 

500

00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:41,167

So remember reframing our perspective, 

about shifting our mindset to see that 

501

00:21:41,234 --> 00:21:44,904

challenge in front of us as an 

opportunity, at a stepping stone, on 

502

00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:45,772

our path to success.

503

00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:48,641

We have invited these opportunities.

504

00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:49,943

Remember that

505

00:21:50,744 --> 00:21:52,946

we ask for the universe to help us grow.

506

00:21:53,613 --> 00:21:54,247

This is one of

507

00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:54,514

them. 

508

00:21:54,748 --> 00:21:55,682

This is one of those challenges.

509

00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:59,519

Remember when it comes up and it pops 

up and it appears

510

00:22:00,20 --> 00:22:04,924

there's a reason for you to step up and 

step into the growth opportunity that

511

00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:05,692

is in front of you. 

512

00:22:05,692 --> 00:22:08,628

And reframing your perspective can 

really help you face it

513

00:22:09,462 --> 00:22:11,831

with not just resiliency, but with an 

open mindset.

514

00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:13,933

4 is Anchor

515

00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:15,535

anchor In Your Values.

516

00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:18,672

Now, if you've reached this point in 

your life as an entrepreneur, you've 

517

00:22:18,738 --> 00:22:19,372

gotten this bar.

518

00:22:20,674 --> 00:22:24,344

You have values, you have certain 

criteria, criteria, perspectives, 

519

00:22:24,978 --> 00:22:26,713

values, purpose, passion,

520

00:22:27,313 --> 00:22:29,616

that shape your entire life and your 

existence. 

521

00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:34,120

And you use those, both in business and 

in friendship, in order to maintain 

522

00:22:34,821 --> 00:22:35,321

your compass. 

523

00:22:35,789 --> 00:22:36,956

And in moments of crisis,

524

00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:41,327

your values can be that compass that 

can be your true north helping. 

525

00:22:41,461 --> 00:22:45,165

You hold on to them tightly and keep 

you focused on where you're headed and 

526

00:22:45,231 --> 00:22:46,566

why you're headed there.

527

00:22:47,701 --> 00:22:50,837

That can bring you a lot of support and 

comfort, knowing that your values are 

528

00:22:50,837 --> 00:22:53,306

fully intact, that you're sticking to 

them and you're going to make it through.

529

00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:55,241

Five is seek purpose. 

530

00:22:55,709 --> 00:22:55,842

Now,

531

00:22:56,810 --> 00:22:59,612

if your cha, if you're chasing a dream 

and a passion and you're bringing it to 

532

00:22:59,612 --> 00:23:00,413

life in the world as an entrepreneur

533

00:23:00,914 --> 00:23:02,82

or aspiring entrepreneur,

534

00:23:03,149 --> 00:23:03,717

that's your purpose. 

535

00:23:03,850 --> 00:23:06,286

Your purpose is to bring your idea to 

life. 

536

00:23:06,353 --> 00:23:09,756

It is to share it, your gift, share 

your gifts with the universe and the world,

537

00:23:10,256 --> 00:23:11,524

share your voice, your message,

538

00:23:12,592 --> 00:23:12,759

right? 

539

00:23:13,59 --> 00:23:15,362

Finding meaning in the struggle is part 

of that purpose.

540

00:23:16,96 --> 00:23:17,464

It's part of defining

541

00:23:18,665 --> 00:23:23,303

and teasing out from that journey the 

very thing that fuels your passion and 

542

00:23:23,370 --> 00:23:24,4

your drive.

543

00:23:24,170 --> 00:23:24,637

Right?

544

00:23:24,804 --> 00:23:25,305

That

545

00:23:26,106 --> 00:23:28,742

just because you said you're going to 

bring this dream to life, doesn't mean 

546

00:23:28,742 --> 00:23:30,910

that it's not going to come with its 

own obstacles and its own challenges 

547

00:23:31,144 --> 00:23:34,80

and then begin to redefine what that 

purpose really is.

548

00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:36,750

The same result is still the same. 

549

00:23:36,816 --> 00:23:37,384

You're going to bring that

550

00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:39,152

service to life. 

551

00:23:39,219 --> 00:23:40,520

You're going to bring that product to 

life. 

552

00:23:40,587 --> 00:23:41,755

You're going to bring that dream to 

life.

553

00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:42,389

But

554

00:23:43,156 --> 00:23:43,690

the purpose

555

00:23:44,657 --> 00:23:49,629

behind doing it may shift as a result 

of what you discover about yourself 

556

00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:53,933

along the way, as these challenges come 

and you're faced with them.

557

00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:57,270

So remember, Seeking Your Purpose, 

Holding Tight To Your Values,

558

00:23:58,171 --> 00:24:01,141

Reframing Your Perspective, Leaning On 

Our Community and Embracing The

559

00:24:01,141 --> 00:24:02,876

Challenge are the five steps that we 

can use

560

00:24:03,543 --> 00:24:07,547

when something big like this comes up 

and we're kind of thrown for a loop. 

561

00:24:07,881 --> 00:24:09,449

Now, I was thrown for loop.

562

00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:13,586

Honestly anxiety driven, anxiety ridden.

563

00:24:14,754 --> 00:24:16,656

I went to my doctor, actually, to ask 

for help

564

00:24:16,890 --> 00:24:17,857

for that, to get on um

565

00:24:20,93 --> 00:24:20,794

anxiety medication,

566

00:24:22,429 --> 00:24:23,997

because I was feeling it like

567

00:24:25,532 --> 00:24:26,66

up to my neck.

568

00:24:27,701 --> 00:24:30,103

And it was very challenging to focus 

and concentrate it. 

569

00:24:30,103 --> 00:24:31,538

And I'm just now getting back into 

things. 

570

00:24:31,638 --> 00:24:34,441

And I will be sharing clips and things 

from my experience along the way. 

571

00:24:34,441 --> 00:24:35,208

I recorded some things.

572

00:24:35,608 --> 00:24:36,910

I just felt weird about doing it

573

00:24:37,777 --> 00:24:40,280

at the time, but I will be sharing them 

in posts and stuff. 

574

00:24:40,347 --> 00:24:43,316

So you can sort of see a little bit of 

that, and get a little inside of my vulnerability

575

00:24:44,517 --> 00:24:45,952

while managing this. 

576

00:24:46,19 --> 00:24:47,354

And you know, I had a nervous breakdown

577

00:24:48,588 --> 00:24:49,389

in the middle of it. 

578

00:24:49,856 --> 00:24:51,825

I just had buried a friend of mine,

579

00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,596

a wonderful, dear brother of mine, at 

the beginning of May.

580

00:24:56,663 --> 00:24:58,398

I did his celebration of life

581

00:24:58,565 --> 00:24:59,532

and

582

00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:02,202

was launching this business and the 

fire. 

583

00:25:02,569 --> 00:25:03,570

And

584

00:25:03,937 --> 00:25:04,637

I hit a wall.

585

00:25:05,305 --> 00:25:06,439

I had an emotional wall. 

586

00:25:06,506 --> 00:25:07,40

And that's ok.

587

00:25:07,941 --> 00:25:08,675

I needed that breakdown. 

588

00:25:08,975 --> 00:25:12,45

I needed that moment of crying, and 

even that moment of, like, just pouring 

589

00:25:12,345 --> 00:25:14,414

myself out and then re grouping.

590

00:25:15,48 --> 00:25:16,349

So remember, the hard things

591

00:25:17,450 --> 00:25:18,84

in life

592

00:25:18,251 --> 00:25:19,853

are not the end of our road,

593

00:25:20,754 --> 00:25:22,188

not the end of our fearless road. 

594

00:25:22,255 --> 00:25:24,991

They're just the beginning of a new 

chapter about who we want to become and 

595

00:25:24,991 --> 00:25:26,92

who we want to be, right?

596

00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:30,497

The choices we want to make in the face 

of resiliency and obstacles that are 

597

00:25:30,497 --> 00:25:31,798

coming, challenges that are coming 

under.

598

00:25:32,432 --> 00:25:35,35

They are the fire that forges our 

strength,

599

00:25:35,869 --> 00:25:38,905

the obstacles that reveal our 

resilience and our capabilities,

600

00:25:40,507 --> 00:25:43,476

and the experiences that will 

ultimately shape our legacy. 

601

00:25:43,877 --> 00:25:45,645

So remember, Embrace hard things. 

602

00:25:46,12 --> 00:25:47,881

Can't have life without them, you 

can't. 

603

00:25:48,181 --> 00:25:51,551

And if they're coming, why not learn to 

Embrace them and transform them, and 

604

00:25:51,551 --> 00:25:56,189

let them transform you and redefine you 

as an ultimately great individual who 

605

00:25:56,256 --> 00:25:59,192

steps into the most authentic version 

of your greatest self,

606

00:26:00,93 --> 00:26:01,594

leading you to your greatest potential.

607

00:26:02,896 --> 00:26:07,0

So thank you for listening to day 42, 

recorded, yet again, going to record

608

00:26:07,467 --> 00:26:09,135

43, 44 and 45 here.

609

00:26:09,636 --> 00:26:11,671

Ah, cause I didn't do sound for some 

reason.

610

00:26:12,505 --> 00:26:13,239

But, you know, hey,

611

00:26:14,274 --> 00:26:15,141

this is what we face.

612

00:26:15,308 --> 00:26:16,9

This is what happens. 

613

00:26:16,9 --> 00:26:19,79

Happens dropping them balls and pickin 

em back up again.

614

00:26:19,145 --> 00:26:19,212

And

615

00:26:20,180 --> 00:26:21,648

runnin, runnin with them.

616

00:26:21,715 --> 00:26:21,948

That's what

617

00:26:22,982 --> 00:26:23,683

we gotta do.

618

00:26:24,351 --> 00:26:25,785

So remember, have a great day. 

619

00:26:25,952 --> 00:26:27,721

I'm so sorry, these are deal delayed. 

620

00:26:28,121 --> 00:26:29,322

Getting out you guys. 

621

00:26:29,856 --> 00:26:32,359

It's been really bothering me that I 

haven't been on target with these. 

622

00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,894

But I will be talking about that terms 

of personal integrity

623

00:26:35,695 --> 00:26:36,429

in the next episodes. 

624

00:26:37,230 --> 00:26:39,32

So, have a wonderful day.

625

00:26:39,399 --> 00:26:42,736

Be good to yourself, be kind to 

everybody that you know, and think 

626

00:26:43,236 --> 00:26:43,403

fearlessly. 

627

00:26:44,37 --> 00:26:44,204

Ok? 

628

00:26:44,738 --> 00:26:44,904

Alright? 

629

00:27:00,653 --> 00:27:00,720

Thank you.