Fearless Thinking

🎙️52. The Power Of Saying No: The Power of Saying No: How to Focus Your Energy and Achieve Success

Michael D Devous Jr Season 1 Episode 52

In this episode of Fearless Thinking, host Michael Devous delves into the counterintuitive power of saying "no" in entrepreneurship. Drawing from his own experiences of overcommitment and burnout, Michael explores the pitfalls of saying yes to every opportunity and how it can hinder focus, drain energy, and sabotage success. He shares practical tips on setting boundaries, prioritizing goals, and embracing essentialism to make strategic decisions about where to invest your valuable time and energy. Michael also introduces The Ascend Hub, a community that empowers entrepreneurs to focus on their core values and achieve greater success by learning the art of saying no.

Key Highlights:

  • The Pitfalls of Saying Yes: Michael discusses the negative consequences of overcommitment, including loss of focus, burnout, diluted efforts, and missed opportunities.
  • The Art of Saying No: He offers practical tips on how to politely decline requests and opportunities that don't align with your goals, emphasizing the importance of honesty, directness, and setting clear boundaries.
  • The Opportunity Cost: Michael explains the concept of opportunity cost and how every "yes" comes at the expense of another choice.
  • The Ascend Hub: He introduces The Ascend Hub as a community that provides resources and support for entrepreneurs to develop essentialism and make strategic decisions.
  • The Power of Focus: Michael emphasizes the importance of focusing on your niche and prioritizing the most impactful activities for your business.
  • Embracing Essentialism: He discusses the philosophy of essentialism – doing less, but better – and how it can lead to greater productivity, reduced stress, and increased impact.

Impactful Quotes:

  • "Saying yes to everything is essentially saying no to our own opportunities."
  • "The art of saying no is about being strategic and intentional with your time and energy."
  • "Every 'yes' comes at the cost of another choice."
  • "The Ascend Hub will help you develop the skills and mindset you need to become an essentialist entrepreneur."
  • "Less is more."

Key Takeaways:

  • Saying no is a crucial skill for entrepreneurial success.
  • Overcommitment can lead to burnout, overwhelm, and a lack of focus.
  • Prioritizing your goals and setting boundaries are essential for achieving success.
  • Embracing essentialism allows you to focus on what truly matters and make a greater impact.
  • The Ascend Hub provides resources and support for entrepreneurs to develop the art of saying no.

 Important Links:

The Art of Saying No: https://a.co/d/af8BhPX
YouTube: https://bit.ly/FearlessThinkingYTChannel
https://theascendhub.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaeldevousjr/

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Hey there everybody.

 

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And welcome to Fearless Thinking, a 
 podcast designed to help you navigate

 

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authentic leadership and the 
 entrepreneurial journey.

 

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I'm your host, Michael Devous

 

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And these are my thoughts, lessons and 
 insights from my entrepreneurial

 

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journey into coaching workshops, 
 motivational speaking, and of course,

 

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what I picked up from interviews with 
 inspiring leaders and entrepreneurs

 

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along the way.

 

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My mission is to help people unlock 
 their untapped potential by using fear

 

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as a catalyst for powerful change and 
 growth,

 

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so they can step into the greatest 
 version of their most authentic selves.

 

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All right, let's get in to some fearless 
 thinking.

 

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Hey fearless thinkers, welcome 
 back to the Fearless Thinking podcast.

 

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I'm your host.

 

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Michael Devous

 

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Episode 52, the Power of Saying No: How 
 to Focus Your Energy and Achieve

 

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Success.

 

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This podcast is all about embracing 
 your authentic self

 

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to achieve entrepreneurial greatness.

 

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And

 

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it's part of my manifestation 
 statement, in fact, to help you step

 

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into the greatest version of your most 
 authentic self by addressing fears

 

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and our relationship

 

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with fear.

 

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And this topic we're diving into today 
 might seem counterintuitive

 

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at first,

 

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but it is the power of saying

 

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no.

 

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Now

 

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I couldn't think whether or not I have, 
 if I have a particular

 

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challenge with this.

 

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I think when I was younger, I said yes

 

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to a lot of the wrong things.

 

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But I think as I went along and 
 discovered that saying yes, I wanted to

 

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say yes to things that I knew and 
 understood would actually benefit

 

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the journey in the path I'd set for 
 myself.

 

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And

 

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you know, when I was back, when I was 
 saying yes because I wanted to people

 

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please, or as a chronic yes man,

 

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saying yes to every project and every 
 opportunity and every invitation,

 

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thinking that more was always better.

 

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I think that's true in some respects, 
 to certain types of industries.

 

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I was a performer.

 

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So if ever there was an opportunity to 
 perform

 

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in my brain, I thought, well, the more 
 times you perform, the better.

 

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Well, first of all, you get better,

 

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and second of all, it's opportunity.

 

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And for some reason, I thought of 
 opportunity.

 

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If someone was given me an opportunity,

 

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I thought I should take it,

 

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rather than

 

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understanding the value of the 
 opportunity in exchange for my time and

 

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my attention and my talents

 

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and I don't think a lot of us are 
 taught how to leverage

 

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that experience in that time against 
 it.

 

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Remember, you have a limited amount of 
 time on this planet,

 

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and a limited amount of time to offer 
 your gifts to the world.

 

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And

 

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when you,

 

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if you're not weighing,

 

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if you're not weighing the value of 
 your time against what people are

 

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asking you to do, if you're not 
 thinking in that mindset, and you're

 

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not prepared to actually figure out 
 what the value of your time and your

 

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attention is,

 

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I don't know if there's a quotient, I 
 don't know if there's a formula for it,

 

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but the amount of time, talent and 
 attention and skill set that you have

 

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over your lifetime is a value.

 

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People want it.

 

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People will seek it out.

 

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People will try to get it from you.

 

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People will want to pay you for it,

 

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you know,

 

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and saying yes to the things that 
 actually help you on your journey, that

 

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actually helped propel you forward.

 

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And I don't mean by being

 

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mean or rude or disrespectful to other 
 people when they ask.

 

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You know, a prime example was, you 
 know, I did, some I'll reach on

 

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LinkedIn trying to promote the Ascend 
 Hub,

 

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reaching out to some people,

 

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some executives and CEOs.

 

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And I got a couple of responses this 
 past week.

 

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I don't know.

 

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I don't see how this can possibly help 
 me.

 

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Ok,

 

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fair,

 

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you know that's where you are.

 

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You can't see the opportunity.

 

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And maybe I didn't describe it well 
 enough.

 

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Maybe it wasn't presented in a proper 
 way.

 

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Maybe my language and my copy was off.

 

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But I have to take that information

 

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as it comes and understand, they are

 

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establishing

 

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the value of their time and their 
 attention.

 

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And if what, I'm offering doesn't meet 
 them

 

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where they need it, they have to say no.

 

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And

 

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that's good, I mean, that's necessary,

 

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I think, in order to learn how to do 
 that.

 

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Now, you don't have to be mean,

 

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but if you constantly say yes to so 
 many different things where you're

 

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exchanging your

 

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valuable time, attention your energy 
 and your talents for somebody else's

 

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experience, somebody else's opportunity,

 

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you can get spread very thin, stressed 
 out and unable to give your best to any

 

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of it, let alone all of it.

 

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And then juggling those

 

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situations

 

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can feel exciting, because you can feel 
 like, oh, I'm so busy, I'm in such high

 

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demand.

 

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But eventually, you know, you can get 
 burnt out.

 

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And these are the pitfalls of saying 
 yes to everything.

 

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When we say yes to everything, 
 essentially what we're saying, we're

 

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actually saying no, by the way,

 

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to our own opportunities.

 

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Other opportunities, they call that the 
 opportunity cost,

 

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if you want to know, there's a name 
 called the opportunity cost.

 

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It is what you lose

 

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or you sacrifice or

 

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give up when you say yes to something

 

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that happens in every situation, every 
 decision that you make comes at the

 

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cost of another choice.

 

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And losing our focus and our energy 
 when it gets scattered, we end up

 

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sacrificing quality for quantity,

 

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thinking more is better.

 

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Ah, like running a marathon while 
 you're carrying a backpack full of rocks.

 

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You might make it to the finish line, 
 but you're going to be exhausted and

 

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you're going to be worn out

 

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just because you carried more.

 

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You know,

 

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I think

 

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if you're going to begin this journey 
 as an entrepreneur, begin to really evaluate

 

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your talent, your time and your 
 attention.

 

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I think you need to start setting

 

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your value

 

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system,

 

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an exchange rate, an understanding

 

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of what that means when you say yes

 

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and how that will impact the strategic

 

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goal.

 

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Goals you have in mind

 

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the map you've created for yourself to 
 get where you want to go.

 

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And the art of saying, no,

 

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is

 

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it's not about being negative, 
 obviously,

 

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in turning down every opportunity.

 

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But it is about being strategic and 
 intentional

 

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with that.

 

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Yes, with that time

 

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and energy.

 

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It's about learning how to prioritize 
 what really matters, and then letting

 

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go with the rest and understanding that 
 it's ok.

 

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The fear of missing out, which is 
 something that, you know, FOMO

 

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has been trained into us by media guys,

 

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it's messaging, things that are on your 
 phones, social media and everything.

 

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It's not something you have to do.

 

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It isn't something you picked up 
 because you're experiencing.

 

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You were taught this by messaging out 
 there in the world, that if you aren't

 

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trying to do everything else that's out 
 there, you're missing out.

 

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Well, you know what?

 

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The thing you're doing is, what is 
 important?

 

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The goal you have, the dream, you want 
 to build, the entrepreneurial journey

 

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and the business and services you want 
 to bring to life in the world, that's valuable.

 

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That's important, that's where it's at.

 

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You don't have a fear of missing out on 
 that goal.

 

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Learn how to say no learn how to 
 strategically and intentionally

 

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value your time and your energy and 
 leverage that against every opportunity

 

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that might come along.

 

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Right?

 

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So,

 

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excuse me,

 

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here's a couple ways you can say no 
 without feeling guilty or burning Bridges.

 

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1. is, Be Honest & Direct.

 

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You know, don't beat around the bush.

 

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Just simple.

 

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Thank you for the opportunity.

 

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But it is not a good fit for me right 
 now.

 

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I have these responses, like I said 
 this past week on LinkedIn

 

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um, "I'm a very big busy CEO.

 

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I have a lot of communities that I 
 belong to.

 

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I don't see how this could fit into my 
 life right now, and I don't see the benefit."

 

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Awesome.

 

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Thank you for your time.

 

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I really appreciate your feedback and 
 being honest with me.

 

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You know, if at some point in your 
 future this feels like a good fit for

 

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you, please keep an eye on a track on 
 us.

 

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As we grow and we expand, and we 
 continue to improve how we deliver and

 

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what we deliver on.

 

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Perhaps there is a good opportunity for 
 you here at the Ascend Hub.

 

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As a future leader,

 

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there's ways to not take it personally.

 

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You know,

 

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let me get this.

 

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Don Miguel Ruiz,

 

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five agreements.

 

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This is the 5th agreement.

 

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i cant find my 5... I've usually 
 given away his gifts, the five

 

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agreements.

 

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One of those agreements is never to 
 take it personally.

 

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It is a massive practice to remember 
 that when somebody says something that might

 

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come off rude, feel abrasive or 
 whatever, it's really not about you,

 

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it's about them.

 

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And if you can practice the art of just 
 not taking it personally, you can

 

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really find your way through to 
 accepting the answer and accepting the response,

 

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and then responding

 

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in a positive way.

 

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Which brings me to 2. Offer 
 Alternatives.

 

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You know, if you can't take on the 
 project yourself,

 

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maybe you know someone who can, or 
 perhaps you can offer a smaller

 

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contribution.

 

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Maybe it's not a full yes, maybe it's a 
 partial yes, maybe it's a yes.

 

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However,

 

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it comes with caveats, right?

 

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If you see a potential opportunity 
 there to discover something more, but

 

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you have to get further into the 
 project in order to know what that is,

 

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put that up front.

 

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Be honest about it.

 

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Be honest with your time and your 
 attention and what you can offer.

 

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And if it's a limited amount in order 
 to discover something better,

 

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then make sure you're very clear about 
 that as well.

 

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And then that brings me to setting 
 boundaries.

 

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Always let people know what you are 
 available

 

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for and what you're not available for.

 

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These boundaries come from when I was 
 saying earlier about establishing your value,

 

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understanding what the value of your 
 time, your attention and your talents,

 

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truly is and truly means in comparison 
 to the goals you have in mind for

 

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yourself.

 

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And if that includes launching the 
 business,

 

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then that increases the amount of time 
 away from launching your business, away

 

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from getting work done, away from 
 succeeding and getting your goals and

 

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your dreams out into the world to do 
 and focus on somebody else's opportunity.

 

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Now if that opportunity helps you move 
 forward, helps you move the needle of

 

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your success, then perhaps that is 
 something you want to add to your

 

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plate.

 

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You've got to figure out how to do 
 that.

 

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healthy boundaries around how to 
 navigate

 

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the opportunity that's coming your way, 
 and establish those boundaries up

 

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front, be very clear about them up 
 front, so people aren't surprised, and

 

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they don't have unrealistic,

 

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unspoken

 

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expectations.

 

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4. The last is Don't Over

 

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Explain.

 

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A simple no, can, obviously can be 
 enough for some people.

 

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You don't owe everyone a lengthy 
 explanation of why you can't

 

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participate or do something you might 
 mention.

 

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I really appreciate this opportunity.

 

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I think it's a wonderful thing.

 

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Thank you for thinking of me, but it's 
 a no at this time.

 

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I just don't have enough space in my 
 calendar.

 

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Whatever, you can come up with 
 something that's polite and easy and

 

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affirm any affirming of both the offer, 
 recognizing the value of the offer,

 

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but not over explaining yourself.

 

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You know, focusing on your niche,

 

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they said, the niches, "The Riches Are 
 In The Niches".

 

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saying no allows you to actually focus 
 more on your niche, your unique area of expertise,

 

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because you are beginning to be laser 
 focused.

 

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You're setting priorities.

 

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And you can become a true expert in 
 your field

 

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and attract the right clients, by the 
 way, and build sustainable businesses.

 

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When you learn to say no and niche down.

 

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And

 

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saying no allows you to focus on your 
 niche.

 

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The niches, or in the riches are, in 
 the niches, you could focus on your

 

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area of expertise by saying no and get 
 laser focused, so that you can continue

 

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to become an expert in your field to 
 attract the right clients and build a sustainable

 

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business.

 

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5. Embrace Essentialism.

 

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If you have ever heard of essentialism 
 it's this philosophy that's all about

 

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doing less,

 

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which is better.

 

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Doing less is better.

 

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Less is more.

 

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You've heard that before, it's about 
 identifying the few things that are

 

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truly essential to your business model, 
 to what your goals are trying to

 

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00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,670

achieve, and eliminating the rest.

 

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It's like, think of it like decluttering

 

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00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,8

your business

 

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00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:30,243

life and your business calendar.

 

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00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:37,317

Essentialism is really defining, as I 
 mentioned before, when you're defining

 

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your value and leveraging your talent, 
 your time and your attention,

 

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when you're really focused on what that 
 value means,

 

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and you decide that you can niche down 
 into those very specific things that

 

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move the needle forward and focus on

 

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00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:57,70

the goals that you have to get to, the 
 milestones that you have to achieve on

 

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00:13:57,70 --> 00:13:57,604

your road.

 

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00:13:59,39 --> 00:13:59,372

Eliminating

 

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those things that distract from

 

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00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,881

decluttering your business life, so 
 that you can focus on the things that

 

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00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:12,118

move the needle forward, becomes a part 
 of your own personal and professional

 

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00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:12,752

essentialism.

 

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00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,555

And that includes your personal life.

 

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00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,323

Excuse me then include your personal 
 life.

 

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Remember that there are going to be 
 some things you're going to have to

 

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00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:23,396

sacrifice in your personal life and 
 reduce the amount of time that it takes

 

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00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:23,930

away from you.

 

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00:14:25,65 --> 00:14:29,536

Begin to look at the ways that those 
 things that you do for social, cultural

 

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00:14:30,36 --> 00:14:31,204

and family

 

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00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:32,305

time,

 

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00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:36,309

if they are valuable to your balance, 
 your mindset,

 

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00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:38,678

your soul, your spirit, then great.

 

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00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,948

If they're not, and they're just 
 another distraction, then obviously

 

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00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:43,550

that's not part of being essential.

 

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00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:47,53

And you need to eliminate those things 
 as well.

 

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00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:51,157

It takes practice to do that, to say 
 no, not only to yourself and the things

 

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00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:55,628

around you that you're used to doing, 
 but also to those opportunities that

 

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00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,430

may not actually be, well,

 

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00:14:58,98 --> 00:14:59,32

a good opportunity.

 

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00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:03,470

So if you're ready to reclaim your time 
 and your focus and your energy and

 

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00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:06,406

attract and achieve greater success,

 

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00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:08,975

then it starts with the power of 
 saying, no.

 

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00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:09,642

Practice

 

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00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:12,512

the art of saying... actually, there's a couple 
 of books called The Art Of Saying No.

 

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00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,280

Actually one has called 
 The Art Of Saying No.

 

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00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:15,849

I would pick that up.

 

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00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:16,983

That's a wonderful book

 

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00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:21,588

that sort of digs even further into 
 this concept.

 

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00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:25,792

At the Ascend Hub, we'll be looking at 
 these types of books as part of our

 

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00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:26,359

book club.

 

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00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:29,696

Some of the reading material that we 
 will be doing on personal and

 

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00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:31,31

professional development and growth

 

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00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,901

here to help you develop those skills 
 and the mindset that you need to become

 

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00:15:35,68 --> 00:15:36,202

an essential entrepreneur.

 

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00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:40,173

And learn about the power of saying no 
 to leverage your talent, your time and

 

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00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:43,710

your attentions towards moving the 
 needle forward on the things that are

 

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00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,712

valuable and important for you.

 

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00:15:46,12 --> 00:15:49,916

So together we'll create a life of 
 focus and purpose and extraordinary results

 

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00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:50,817

together.

 

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00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:51,685

Yeah,

 

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00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:52,585

that's what I said

 

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00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:54,87

together.

 

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00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:54,821

Ok.

 

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00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:58,725

Well, thanks again for listening to an 
 episode of Fearless Thinking.

 

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00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,827

Have a wonderful rest of your week.

 

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00:16:00,894 --> 00:16:01,861

Do some fearless thinking.

 

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00:16:02,95 --> 00:16:04,597

And you know what, take a look at your 
 to dos.

 

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00:16:04,898 --> 00:16:06,32

And let's get essential.

 

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00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:07,634

Let's do some "no's".

 

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00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:10,870

Think of some no's you can do that are 
 healthy for you, that feel good about

 

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00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:15,41

eliminating some of that clutter at 
 getting you more focused.

 

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00:16:15,709 --> 00:16:17,711

Have a wonderful week, and we'll see 
 you next time.

 

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00:16:18,11 --> 00:16:18,244

Bye.